infinite sea of believes

and my bow to alan watts for intro-ing me into belief system that serves me

"My main purpose in life is to ensure I pass on deep faith to my kids," my dad once told me. And he dedicated himself to making this a reality: I attended Sunday school, took part in religious camps, and memorized numerous prayers. His efforts, combined with growing up in an environment of one religion, meant that I was exposed to one set of values and beliefs.¹

Yet, as a rebellious teenager, I began to question the only faith I knew. Each Sunday, as I stood in church for what felt like endless hours, I struggled to grasp the significance of the choir's words. My doubts intensified as I observed wealth gaps—the poorest grandmothers contributing their small pensions while priests asking for more while driving expensive cars. 

The period of questioning coincided with an exchange program in Ohio that introduced me to a vast diversity of religions. During it, I attended a conference² where I joined two hundred teens from dozens of countries, all in quest to understand one another's religious viewpoints. There, I observed each of my new friends also struggling with certainty about existence of god.

After a year in Ohio, I came home no longer believing. For a while, it was fun to play a contrarian teenager game. But as I moved to my late teens, I felt a need for belief guidance to make life decisions, and the idea that “God is dead”³ was far from being helpful. So I set on path to craft my own belief system.

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seeking belief compass

I think there are two ways to craft a belief compass. One being introspective contemplation leading to original creation of your own “guidelines”. Two being exploration of global religions and borrowing of some of their constructs, ideas, and dogmas.  

With the latter, my nomadic life was instrumental. And Eastern religions especially caught my eye while living abroad.

• In India, they say that god lives within each of us (Satcitananda⁴). 

• In Bali, I noticed that Hindus have a very light-hearted relationship with death - there is no fear of it, but serene acceptance of its inevitability as part of the cycle of life. In fact, the cremation ceremonies are often full of color, music, and festivities as relatives await for the dead’s soul to be freed. 

• In Vietnam my close friends always challenged my use of "good" or "bad" while discussing public policies, prompting me to wonder if such distinctions even exist.

Yet, despite these enriching experiences and direct exposure to Eastern religions, I still had lots of trouble grasping Eastern religions that were so starkly different from Christian human-like deities with the white beard.

encountering alan watts: the interpreter of spiritual dialects

Enter Alan Watts, the British philosopher who bridged the gap between Eastern mysticism and Western skepticism. His gift lay in his ability to translate Eastern religious concepts into a language that the Western ear could understand. At the height of the psychedelic renaissance in California, Watts produced a plethora of accessible works, from recorded lectures to insightful books, translating the complexities of eastern thought. 

In Tao of Philosophy, he mentioned that one of his central tenets is that all religions carry different truths, with none holding supremacy over the others. Religions are simply varied stories—metaphors for a reality that have survived and evolved over millennia. “So my international friends just believe in different stories”, I thought and read on.

the quietude of meditation

Having no one belief system was both liberating and disorienting. The world is full of uncertainty, and operating in such a place can be daunting. When the war broke out in my country, my family turned to prayer. Reciting prayers over and over again while waiting in bunkers helped them find some peace despite the danger posed by air raid sirens. Meanwhile, I had no prayer to believe in anymore.

Meditation is a practice deeply embedded in many Eastern religions, and Alan Watts was a huge advocate for it. It was this practice that brought me the inner peace that my family sought in church.  It soon became my practice for exploring the mind, appreciating the questions themselves without needing to know the answers, whether immediately or ever. 

Alan Watts’s legacy is ever alive and blooming. The world is now full of modern artists who use his well-crafted words to create meaningful songs you can easily find on Spotify.

reality rich of metaphors

Watts excelled in crafting metaphors useful for life. For example, he would equate life with playing piano, emphasizing the act of playing for sheer enjoyment rather than rushing towards a conclusion. This perspective invited me to view life as an art form, a playful song where one doesn’t hurry towards the destination.

His teachings on language and reality—how we often mistake symbols for their substance—encouraged a deeper introspection on the very nature of reality. He would say that language is merely one of the many tools to articulate our experience of reality that always existed. And the way we use our language shapes the world we perceive and inhabit. 

“We have run into a cultural situation where we have confused the symbol with the physical reality, the money with the wealth, the menu with the dinner, and as a result, we are starving from eating menus."  Alan Watts

This quote really rang true for me when I spoke with my Balinese friend. In her culture, they insist on using language such as "I am a body," denoting a profound connection, an integration of self with the physical form. On the other hand, most Westerners typically use "I have a body," with the emphasis on 'I' as resident within their head, governing over their possessions, the body being one of these possessions.

The never-ending symphony of my spiritual journey

The never-ending exploration of my belief compass exploration continues its ever-evolving melodic composition. With the help of guides like Alan Watts and my friends, I now have guiding principles that help lead a better life:

• Meditation helps me be at peace with not knowing.

• The Hindu distinction between reality (Brahman) and man-constructed fiction (Maya) aids in dealing with everyday life challenges.

• Christianity’s Golden Rule encourages kindness towards others.

• Taoism’s concept of "wu wei" (无为), the art of effortless action, guides me towards patient and intuitive living.

I still have much to learn from the world's religions, and I hope there will be guides like Alan Watts to continue coming onto my path.⁵

1. Ukraine, my home country, has a very homogeneous religious makeup. It is estimated that 85% of Ukrainian population is Christian.

2.  I still consider “Better Understanding for a Better World” to be one of the most pivotal events in my life. I met teenagers from over 100 countries and some of them are my friends to this day.

3.  Thanks Nietzsche! 🫠

4. Satcitananda is a sanskrit word often translated as "truth consciousness bliss". Find more here.

5. I am especially seeking to understand Islam these days. If anyone has suggestions, please let me know! Thank you